An American taxpayer is walking down the street. Suddenly, out of nowhere and without warning, a smelly, dirty, ragged, homeless thug hopped up on drugs steps out in front of him, hits him in the face, grabs his wallet, and then proceeds to kick and beat him just shy of senseless before running away. The poor taxpayer is left lying on the sidewalk, all bloody and bruised.

Immediately afterward, Eric Holder comes walking by, and sees him. He stops and asks what happened. The taxpayer tells him, and Holder says:

“Gee, I’d like to help you, but, see, I’m the Attorney General, and if you decide to pursue any legal action with regard to this incident, there’s a chance that my office may be involved in the case. So I’m sorry, but if by any chance you pull through, it really is in everyone’s best interest that I remain personally uninvolved in anything having to do with your situation. I’m only thinking of you. Good luck.”

Eric Holder continues walking down the street, pleased that he has avoided any conflicts of interest.

Next, Tom Daschle walks by, sees the poor taxpayer, and also asks what happened. So the taxpayer tells him, and he responds:

“Well, that is interesting. You do look to be in bad shape, and as the Director of Health and Human Services, let me just say that it is a really good thing that we now have nationalized healthcare to take care of people in your situation. Here, take this stack of forms and fill them out in triplicate. And especially make sure you read and sign the forms having to do with forgoing most of your rights. Then, make a copy for yourself, mail one set to the Office of National Healthcare in Washington, D.C., then bring the other copy to a medical facility approved and certified by our office of national healthcare. They’re all over the place: at least one in every state. Then, when they have checked your paperwork, if it is all correctly filled out, they will send you a form that allows you to request an appointment. Don’t worry, in a situation like yours, I am sure that you will be seen by an approved doctor or other medical professional within six to eight weeks. I’m just glad I could be here to help.”

Tom Daschle continues walking down the street, satisfied that he has, once again, been of tremendous service to the American taxpayer.

Next, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton walks by, sees the taxpayer, and asks what happened. The taxpayer tells her. She says:

“Wait. This does not make sense. What did you do to provoke him?”

The taxpayer says, “Nothing. I was just walking along.”

With a knowing grin, Hillary replies, “That is a very short-sighted view of the situation. You see, what you fail to appreciate is the historical perspective that has led up to this confrontation. The reality is that civilized, rational people simply do not behave in the way you described. Ipso facto, you are therefore ignoring your part in the overall oppression of not only this man individually, but all men, women, and children like him who are entirely justified in their feelings of powerlessness, alienation, and disenfranchisement. Moreover, if you bothered to read the newspaper, you would realize that there are muggers in this city. Ergo, you have also failed to appreciate that this entire episode could have been avoided if you had taken the necessary preventative measures.

“And let me just add this: it is abundantly clear to me that you did not even try to talk to this guy, to find out, by openly, willingly, and proactively approaching him through diplomatic means, if there was some common ground upon which you could base a meaningful dialog that would result in a viable win-win scenario. No, it is more than obvious to anyone but the most addle-brained idiot that you, yourself, must bear the greater share of responsibility for the situation you find yourself in. All this bloodshed could have been avoided if you had demonstrated, from the outset, your willingness to meet him at least halfway in genuine sympathy to the plight in which you have played a significant part in placing him. Here, take my card. Next time, before you get mugged, call me, and let me handle the negotiations for you from now on.”

Hillary then continues walking down the street, shaking her head and muttering, “Amateurs.”

Finally, Barack Obama, Nancy Pelosi, and Harry Reid walk by and see the poor taxpayer in the street. Shocked by what they see, they stop and ask him what happened. Once again, the taxpayer explains. Barack Obama crouches down and says:

“Let me get this straight. You say you were beat up by a homeless drug-addict who took all your money?”

The taxpayer nods. Barack Obama continues to ask questions, getting a full description of the man who beat up the taxpayer. Finally, he, Nancy Pelosi, and Harry Reid look at each other with concern. Barack Obama excuses himself, and the three engage in a quick, quiet conference. Finally, Barack crouches down again and tells the taxpayer,

“Look. This is terrible. Unforgiveable. Don’t worry about a thing. All three of us are in agreement. We are going to go out right now, and find the man who did this to you. And help him.”

www.RedBloodedAmericanGirl.com

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