I don’t know why so many Americans keep demanding that the government solve their problems. The United States government doesn’t work. Time and again, American politicians have demonstrated their utter incompetence at even understanding problems, let alone actually solving them.

There are some things a government must do—it is the reason we even consent to be governed. (Pssst . . . it’s in The Declaration of Independence.) But most of the time, when the U.S. government gets a hold of a problem, it’s like asking your dentist to design a house.

Here’s how the U.S. government works: You’re hungry, and you ask for a ham sandwich. Your pig congressman proposes it as the Ham Sandwich Bill. Of course, not wanting it to look like simple pork, he broadens it a bit: it includes Black Forest Ham, Smoked Ham, Honey Ham, and mustard. Terrific. So far, so good. But now, it has to go to the House Lunch Committee.

Now, some other congressman from a cow district wants it to be a roast beef sandwich—or, at the very least, that it includes some roast beef, or maybe corned beef, or pastrami. Then the poultry congressmen have their say. The dairy congressmen demand that it have cheese, and, of course, since you can’t have a sandwich by itself, you also need a glass of milk.

And then the wheat congressmen debate with the rye congressmen what kind of bread it ought to have, and they compromise by deciding that both must be included. And then come all the vegetables and condiments. By then, the nut and fruit congressmen are asking why the bill fails to address nuts and fruits.

Eventually, it comes out of committee, and in the floor debate, members say that there is so much stuff here, that it should not be a sandwich at all, it ought to be a buffet.

But if it is a buffet, it needs to be a matter that is placed within the purview of the United States Buffet Agency. So now, the bill is renamed as an Amendment to the American Buffet Act. It goes to the Senate. They debate even more, and, after a few more changes, everyone is finally happy. They add another $20 billion to the federal budget. The bill is passed, and the President signs it at a press conference with everybody smiling.

Now you ask the U.S. Buffet Agency about your sandwich. But they have just started. They decide that in order to effectively administer this program, they need to enact some regulations. They propose regulations stating that you need a permit. They define the permit requirements, citing to appropriate sections of the American Buffet Act.

Then they solicit comments, and get them from activist groups like Americans Who Hate Sandwiches, the American Society for Vegetarian Sandwiches, and Pork is Murder. The agency considers all of the comments and 90 days latter it issues regulations that incorporate all of the comments into their final regulations.

You then spend hours filling out reams of paperwork applying for your Ham Sandwich permit. The agency gives you a permit, but what you get is a fruit platter, because the Agency concludes that the 2008 Amendment to the American Buffet Act does not include provisions for a ham sandwich, and, besides, the Buffet Agency concluded eight years ago that a ham sandwich is not as healthy as a fruit platter. It costs you $1,200.
The American government is a cumbersome, inefficient body. Most of the time, that’s a good thing, because we would really be in trouble if America’s politicians could exercise their power effectively. You see, they pretty much don’t know anything about anything—that is, anything real. They know how to blather on and spend money, though.

If Americans want something done, if America has a problem that needs to be solved, the last thing Americans should do is to go whining to the U.S. government. Take a look around. Problems are solved by individuals who have an acute need or desire to solve them. Most of the time, it is the government that is getting in the way of a solution, not providing it.

Americans cannot and should not expect problems to be solved by a group of people who have no direct interest in an efficient and useful outcome, especially when they are spending someone else’s money—yours—to accomplish it.

Be an American. It is not someone else’s responsibility; it is yours. And if ever America needed Americans to accept the challenges America faces, it is now.

American Ideals Freedoms | Individual Rights | Customs and Traditions

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