America’s Clean Energy Solution: Close Your Eyes and Wish Really Hard

Now that the sky is falling in America, no one is talking much about the pre-credit disaster issue du jour, which was gas. But I’m going to go back to it here, because it is still a crucial issue.

A lot of windbags out there got on the alternative energy bandwagon, including our incredibly pathetic presidential wannabes, talking up solar, wind, coal, and natural gas. Now, I have nothing against utilizing alternative sources of energy . . . only when is somebody going to point out the glaringly obvious problems with the current rhetoric?

Let’s just discuss the environmentalist hard-liners, who think that we can eliminate the need for oil. Hmm. There is just so much stupidity out there that it’s hard to pick where to begin.

Okay: Exxon and all the other big oil producers. Oh, yes, why don’t they stop pushing oil on us and give us something else? Well, maybe it’s because THEY ARE OIL COMPANIES. Their job is to find, produce, and sell gasoline and other petroleum products, not to serve the greater needs, demands, and unreasonable whims of our greener brethren. Exxon is owned by its shareholders, and Exxon tries to serve its shareholders by making a profit doing what it does best. Unless and until the government runs the oil business—and, since good old Uncle Sam is now in the banking business, that is probably not far behind—they’re going to continue to do what they’re in business doing, and everyone else can go take a flying leap.

Oh, and about all those nasty “benefits” the fed “gives” to big oil. Gee, ExxonMobil ALONE paid over $29 billion in federal income taxes last year. And that does not include revenue generated from payroll taxes paid by its 30,000 U.S. employees. And, of course, the feds collect 18.4 cents on EVERY SINGLE GALLON OF GASOLINE sold in America. In fact, the average amount of taxes (state and fed) paid on every gallon of gasoline bought by an American last year was . . . 46 cents!

Don’t you get it? Petroleum is a CASH COW for the government! Do you really think they are going to give this up? If you add up corporate and gas taxes, the fed takes in more revenue from petroleum than the oil companies! Let’s get this in perspective, guys: the U.S. consumes 390,000,000 gallons of gasoline every day. That means Uncle Sam is generating over $71 million per day in revenue from you and me driving our cars—that’s more than $26 billion per year! And when you add in the states’ share, it totals over $65 billion per year.

And what makes people think alternative energy sources are some magical perpetual motion machine? Do they really think that solar, wind, coal, and natural gas resources are completely clean and cost free? Okay, so we don’t have exhaust spewing out the back of a car. But how the heck do you harness these resources? Do you just get a hemp bag, go traipsing through the woods in your Birkenstocks, and pick them up off the ground?  They all have an environmental cost.

Sure, festoon the entire southern United States with windmills, but you’re going to have to get the resources to build the things, you’re going to have to dedicate a lot of land to put these things up, you’re going to kill a lot of birds operating the things, and you’re going to have to deliver the energy to a plant and distribute it. Do you think that has no impact? And if it is all so bloody easy and efficient and wonderful. . . how come no one has done it? How come you, Mr. and Ms. Green, have not put your money where your mouth is? Oh, that’s right, you don’t have a job and no one else is stupid enough to risk their own hard-earned money on your goofy ideas.

Okay, okay. Really, this is not an argument against investigating or using alternative sources, it is just an open question: where is the in-depth cost-benefit and comparative analysis? If T. Boone Pickens is promoting wind power, it probably makes economic sense since he knows how to make a buck. But I am tired of these little green fairies skipping around imagining that these “solutions” have no environmental cost or impact.

And while we’re at it: do the enviros really think we can operate without petroleum? You see, to them, gas is just something you put in your car. Okay, let’s all just get electric cars! Well, now you’ve got batteries to build—and to dispose of after about 6 years, since your Prius batteries won’t survive much longer than that. Uhh, so what do we do with all the cars that are on the road today? Junk ‘em? Oh, sure, we’ll recycle tens of millions of old combustion engine cars, and keep on recycling those acid batteries, and none of our activities will have any adverse environmental impacts.

And we can deliver food and all those other goods we need across the United States on . . . steam trains? Oh, no, that requires burning coal. Horse and buggy? Somehow, I don’t think we’ve progressed too far on developing the solar-powered train, the battery-operated jet, or the sail-propelled semi. Oh, gee, that’s right, I forgot: we need petroleum to make jet fuel and diesel fuel. And we need petroleum to make plastic, so that your Odwalla organic carrot juice doesn’t spoil before we get to the next hay station. And, say, then we can take the United Airlines Zeppelin or Hang Glider on the international tradewind to the next Earth Summit in Nairobi or Kiev or Jakarta or wherever those geniuses at the U.N. need a junket.

And how about that non-statistic: the United States uses 25% of the world’s oil output, but only has 3% of the world’s supply. This is supposed to be an argument that we don’t have enough oil to support our usage. But let me see here . . . output is not the same as supply! How very clever to be so deceptively stupid. The world’s supply far exceeds the world’s annual output, and a 3% supply will keep us in cheap gasoline for decades. What else were we going to do with that oil? Dress a salad? The stuff used to be a hazard before people discovered what it could be used for.

This presidential election is like the idiot’s pop quiz, and the Katie Courics of the world are the perfect idiot quizzers. Everybody has all the answers . . . but that’s easy, when you ask really stupid questions. I’m still waiting for an intelligent question, let alone an intelligent answer. The reason the liberals listen to the Katie Couric contingent—and want all of America to listen to them—is that they don’t WANT anyone to ask tough questions, because . . .you might not like the answers. And you especially won’t like how much the answers are going to cost you.

Come on, America, when are you going to stop wishing upon a star for an easy way out? Deus ex machina only happens on stage. Do you really think 535 lawyers plus a couple more in the White House are going to magically solve these problems while you sit on your duff and watch Monday Night Football? The country is in trouble, and we’re being entertained by a dog and pony show. Hey, it worked for the Roman Empire.

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